Alcoholic Denial | How To Help An Alcoholic In Denial (2024)

Denial is closely linked to addiction, especially in those with an alcohol use disorder. The person can’t or won’t see that their drinking is out of hand and they need substance abuse treatment. Despite the hardships of this condition, there are ways to help people with alcoholic denial and alcohol abuse issues.

Alcoholic Denial | How To Help An Alcoholic In Denial (1)

Being dishonest or lying about alcohol consumption is pretty common with alcoholism. Lying can manifest into denial behaviors.

Denial in alcoholism can take on different characteristics, such as:

  • blame — placing responsibility for drinking on another person or circ*mstance. Taking no ownership of the drinking problem.
  • hiding — avoiding telling others that they are drinking or even denying when directly asked.
  • becoming defensive — instead of simply answering a question about their drinking, the person starts to defend their decision to drink.
  • dismissing — refusing to see their drinking as a problem or even being willing to talk about it.
  • lying about quitting — this type of denial occurs when the person falsely states that they will quit or that their drinking is an issue.
  • comparing — when approached about drinking habits, an alcoholic may shrug the statements off by naming a person who drinks more than them, or who acts extreme while drinking.
  • rationalizing — finding a way to minimize their own drinking, or word it in a way that is accepted.

How Does Alcoholic Denial Happen?

When a person starts abusing alcohol, they may feel they have a good reason. Stress, obligations, trauma, abuse, or any other number of negative circ*mstances can seem like an acceptable reason to pick up a bottle or have a drink.

Whether it happens over time or immediately, the person realizes that their drinking has become a bit out of control. However, they may not want to or be willing to cut back at that point.

Eventually, the need or compulsion to drink is beyond their control. Not wanting to admit their alcoholism to anyone does not mean they don’t see the problem.

Additionally, long-term effects of alcohol result in brain damage and compromise different functions of the brain, including insight and other frontal lobe processes.

Types Of Alcoholic Denial

People may deny their alcoholism for different reasons—it’s not always about hiding it. Here are the different types of alcoholic denial and why people with alcohol addiction may deny their drinking problem.

Denial As A Defense

Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and over time it will get worse. As the person’s drinking continues to worsen over time, the consequences related to alcoholism increase.

Binge or heavy drinking can wreak havoc on a person’s love life, work responsibilities, and in some cases, result in legal problems.

Someone in the throes of an alcohol addiction may refuse to acknowledge the connection between their problems and drinking. Denial can become a sort of defense mechanism for them, allowing them to continue on this destructive path.

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Another form of defense can happen when a person struggling with addiction creates a group of people that allows them to continue to believe that their drinking is not a problem, nor the cause of their hard times.

Sometimes, these groups of friends can reinforce the alcoholic’s denial, and may actually provide their own chorus of denial to support the person with the alcohol addiction.

Secondary Denial

Secondary denial is a form of denial that doesn’t come from the alcoholic, but from the people they surround themselves with. Whether it is a ‘drinking buddy’ or a loved one, these people echo the sentiment of the person struggling with addiction.

This type of denial is a form of enabling. Oftentimes, enablers are family members who are attempting to protect the person with the alcohol problem.

Fortunately, there are support groups available for friends and family members of alcoholics, such as AlaTeen and Al-Anon, that help people understand how damaging enabling is, and how to make corrections to their own behaviors to help everyone involved.

Offering Protection To People With Alcoholic Denial

Loved ones sometimes protect the person who is experiencing an alcohol problem, making excuses for their poor behaviors and failure to manage responsibilities.

This type of enabling can come in many forms, such as:

  • paying bills the person can’t or won’t
  • working on jobs around the house they failed to complete
  • co-workers completing projects that they flaked out on
  • posting bail repeatedly for them to get out of jail
  • covering attorney or court fees for legal issues

“Saving The Day”

Coming to the rescue of a loved one who struggles with alcohol dependence may seem like the right thing to do, but it essentially allows them to never experience the negative consequences of their drinking.

Protecting, rescuing, and secondary denial are all ways that people close to alcoholics enable their addictive behaviors. When a loved one is engaged in alcohol abuse, watching them spiral out of control can cause inner conflict for friends and family members.

However, enabling is dangerous and in no way helpful. It allows a person with an alcohol use disorder to dismiss all warning signs that their alcohol abuse has become a problem.

Enabling also creates an environment that fosters co-dependency and negatively impacts appropriate support systems.

High-Functioning Alcoholic Denial

Denial often occurs in functional alcoholics. These individuals maintain appearances, hold down jobs, and fulfill most daily responsibilities. In fact, their loved ones may reinforce the denial by not acknowledging the warning signs themselves.

One of the most supportive things a friend, family member, or coworker can do for a high-functioning alcoholic is to acknowledge the alcohol problem and the need for an alcohol treatment program.

​No matter how functional an alcoholic is, the nature of the disease will eventually start to wear them down.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and the following are some of the noticeable symptoms of alcohol addiction:

  • sudden development of paranoia, shakiness, or insomnia
  • randomly missing social events that they enjoyed attending
  • missing work often or missing project due dates
  • lack of focus or attitude changes that are uncharacteristic

It is important to recognize that just because you have realized that your loved one may be in need of an alcohol addiction treatment program, that does not mean they will agree.

Approaching them may feel foreign or uncomfortable, which is why some choose to reach out to mental health or addiction specialists for guidance. There are unique professionals that conduct interventions, and those individuals can be extremely helpful in these processes.

Symptoms Of Alcoholism

While high-functioning alcoholics don’t always display the same warning signs of alcoholism, the majority of people struggling with alcohol abuse share many similar symptoms, including:

  • spending significant amounts of time using, finding, or recovering from alcohol use
  • using alcohol in dangerous circ*mstances
  • continuing to use alcohol despite health risks
  • needing larger amounts of alcohol to have the same effects
  • experiencing withdrawal symptoms without alcohol
  • being unable to maintain relationships due to alcohol

A person that exhibits a number of these symptoms is likely to be struggling with an alcohol use disorder and would benefit from a treatment program.

Alcohol Addiction Treatment Programs

Alcohol addiction treatment centers offer a number of treatment options, and guide an individual through the recovery process. From the early stages of detoxification, or detox, to inpatient treatment, through to aftercare, addiction medicine continues to develop and support individuals in recovery.

Contact our helpline today. We are available to explore addiction treatment options that can help you or your loved one get the assistance needed to start recovery.

Written by the Addiction Resource Editorial Staff

This page does not provide medical advice. See more

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Addiction Resource aims to provide only the most current, accurate information in regards to addiction and addiction treatment, which means we only reference the most credible sources available.

These include peer-reviewed journals, government entities and academic institutions, and leaders in addiction healthcare and advocacy. Learn more about how we safeguard our content by viewing our editorial policy.

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Home > Alcohol Abuse > What Is An Alcoholic? > Alcoholic Denial

Alcoholic Denial | How To Help An Alcoholic In Denial (2024)

FAQs

What to do when someone won t admit they have a drinking problem? ›

How To Help Someone You Know Who Drinks Too Much
  1. Step 1: Talk. Talk about your worries when the person is sober. ...
  2. Step 2: Offer your help. Suggest activities that don't include drinking alcohol. ...
  3. Step 3: Take care of yourself. Caring for someone with alcohol misuse or use disorder can be stressful.
Jun 22, 2023

Do alcoholics have intimacy issues? ›

Many alcoholics will suffer from low self-esteem, especially in the early days. They may feel unworthy and not good enough, which can affect their ability to be intimate with their partner. This low self-esteem can cause erectile dysfunction in men and decrease sexual desire in both sexes.

Is alcohol a coping mechanism for mental health? ›

You may feel like alcohol is your coping mechanism: a way to deal with depression, stress, anxiety or other difficult feelings. You might be nervous about what life would be like if you stopped drinking or cut back. But relying on alcohol to manage your mental well-being can become a problem in itself.

How does denial play a role in addiction? ›

Denial & Addiction

In terms of substance use disorders, denial and “lack of awareness” are commonly seen among people during their early stages of recovery from substance use disorders, and they often contribute to a person's resistance or lack of motivation in addiction treatment.

What not to say to someone not drinking? ›

So in the spirit of respecting people's choices, privacy, and comfort, here are some things not to say when someone declines an adult beverage.
  • “Why not?” ...
  • “Are you sure?” ...
  • “Come on, just one!?” ...
  • “You're no fun.” ...
  • “Are you pregnant?” ...
  • “Wow. ...
  • “Do you mind if I drink?” ...
  • “I could never do that.”
Dec 3, 2021

How do you support someone who is trying not to drink? ›

Try to have calm, positive conversations
  1. know when it's a good time to talk.
  2. encourage your friend or family member to open up and be honest.
  3. say how you feel without making the other person defensive.

What personality disorder do alcoholics have? ›

Antisocial Personality Disorder and Alcohol

People who have antisocial personality disorder engage in dangerous behaviors, lack guilt and display low impulse control. These qualities make a person prone to addictive behaviors, with alcoholism being the one most common.

What is the most common psychological problem in alcoholic? ›

Mood disturbances (which frequently are not severe enough to qualify as "disorders") are arguably the most common psychiatric complaint among treatment–seeking alcoholic patients, affecting upwards of 80 percent of alcoholics at some point in their drinking careers (Brown and Schuckit 1988; Anthenelli and Schuckit 1993 ...

What is the average age of death for alcoholics? ›

Conclusion. People hospitalized with alcohol use disorder have an average life expectancy of 47–53 years (men) and 50–58 years (women) and die 24–28 years earlier than people in the general population.

What are the 4 types of drinking behaviors? ›

Generally, people drink to either increase positive emotions or decrease negative ones. This results in all drinking motives falling into one of four categories: enhancement (because it's exciting), coping (to forget about my worries), social (to celebrate), and conformity (to fit in).

What are three mental skills impaired by alcohol use? ›

Alcohol makes it harder for the brain areas controlling balance, memory, speech, and judgment to do their jobs, resulting in a higher likelihood of injuries and other negative outcomes. Long-term heavy drinking causes alterations in the neurons, such as reductions in their size.

What can you take naturally to stop drinking? ›

Herbal supplements like Ashwagandha, kudzu, milk thistle, and St. John's wort may reduce alcohol withdrawal symptoms and prevent cravings. Lifestyle changes, better nutrition, exercise, meditation, mindfulness, and relaxing hobbies can also help you feel better while living alcohol-free.

Why are alcoholics so in denial? ›

Denial is a common symptom in people struggling with an alcohol disorder. There are many reasons why a person may deny their substance abuse problem, but it often comes down to: They're not ready to accept they have a problem and need to change. They genuinely don't recognize the symptoms or see the problem.

Is denial common among alcoholics? ›

One of the most frustrating factors in dealing with alcoholism is it is almost always accompanied by a phenomenon known as denial—a refusal to admit the truth or reality of the condition. With denial, a person with alcohol use disorder has impaired insight into their condition.

What are the 4 levels of denial? ›

Stages of Denial
  • Type A denial is when a person sees, understands, and knows that they have a definite problem. ...
  • Type B denial is when a person is either partially or totally blind to a problem that they have. ...
  • Intellectual denial is usually based on lack of understanding, differences in semantics or in definition.

What to say to cut someone off from drinking? ›

How do I cut someone off?
  • Avoid confrontation. ...
  • Treat the guest with respect. ...
  • Do not argue, but don't back down either. ...
  • Calmly state the reason why you can no longer serve them alcoholic drinks. ...
  • Do not be rude or act superior. ...
  • Listen and acknowledge the guest's frustration. ...
  • Monitor the guest who has been refused service.
Feb 17, 2023

How do you tell someone they should stop drinking? ›

  1. Open the lines of communication.
  2. Make it comfortable to talk about the underlying cause contributing to their drinking.
  3. Be ready with concrete examples of why you think there may be a problem.
  4. Don't offer an ultimatum.
  5. Don't pass judgment or shame.
  6. Utilize the people in your life.
  7. Offer resources to your loved one.
Jun 24, 2022

How do I tell him to stop drinking? ›

How to Help a Boyfriend Stop Drinking
  1. Learn about alcohol use disorder to talk knowledgeably about the issues; this may include going to a physician or therapist to discuss symptoms.
  2. Practice what you will say to him.
  3. Pick the right time and place while he is sober.
  4. Listen to him with honesty and compassion.
Jan 19, 2023

How do you respond to an alcoholic? ›

Remember to use “I” statements that express your feelings and your concerns and the ways that you are impacted by your loved one's alcohol use. You could say, “I am concerned about your alcohol use. I've noticed that I'm increasingly worried when you come home late at night and I don't know where you've been.”

How do you convince someone to give up drinking? ›

Explain how their drinking could be affecting their health and how it will continue to cause harm. Express your concern for their well-being as someone who cares for them. Remember that it will take them time to change. Expect pushback.

How do you deal with someone who has been drinking? ›

Helping your friend

Remember, when someone has had too much to drink, their judgement might be impaired, so don't get angry with your friend. Get them a glass of water or a soft drink, or even order them some food. This will stop them drinking and give their bodies time to process the alcohol.

Do alcoholics have two personalities? ›

Generally, alcoholics seem to have the same kinds of personalities as everybody else, except more so. The first is a low frustration tolerance. Alcoholics seem to experience more distress when enduring long-term dysphoria or when tiresome things do not work out quickly. Alcoholics are more impulsive than most.

Do alcoholics have narcissistic tendencies? ›

It's possible to have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as well as an alcohol use disorder (AUD). In some cases, someone who's misusing alcohol may display similar tendencies to narcissistic people — or at least, it might come across that way to those around them.

Which personality type is most likely to be an alcoholic? ›

According to Truity, INTP is the most common MBTI type among college students committing alcohol and drug policy violations. This personality type also tends to be somewhat solitary, have less access to coping resources, and experience lower career satisfaction.

Do alcoholics cry easily? ›

Alcohol can make some people more emotional than usual, causing them to cry more easily. However, for some, alcohol can cause anger and aggression, which can become a real problem.

What are three disorders associated with alcoholism? ›

Over time, excessive alcohol use can lead to the development of chronic diseases and other serious problems including: High blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, and digestive problems. Cancer of the breast, mouth, throat, esophagus, voice box, liver, colon, and rectum.

What are the four types of treatment for an alcohol use disorder? ›

Types of Treatment
  • Behavioral Treatments. Behavioral treatments are aimed at changing drinking behavior through counseling. ...
  • Medications. ...
  • Mutual-Support Groups. ...
  • Current NIAAA Research—Leading to Future Breakthroughs. ...
  • Mental Health Issues and Alcohol Use Disorder.

What is the number one cause of death for alcoholics? ›

Since the death toll caused by alcohol abuse is so high, it is important to understand the ways in which alcohol can kill someone. The major causes of alcohol-related death are alcohol poisoning, cancer, car accidents, heart failure, liver damage, and violence.

What is the most common cause of death among alcoholics? ›

Excessive alcohol use is associated with several leading causes of death among adults aged 20 to 64 years in the US, including heart disease, cancer, unintentional injury, and liver disease.

Do alcoholics get worse as they get older? ›

Aging can lower the body's tolerance for alcohol. Older adults generally experience the effects of alcohol more quickly than when they were younger. This puts older adults at higher risks for falls, car crashes, and other unintentional injuries that may result from drinking.

What are the 5 A's of alcoholism? ›

Clinical guidelines recommend addressing adolescent alcohol use in primary care; the 5 As (Ask, Advise, Assess, Assist, Arrange) may be a useful model for intervention.

What is a delta alcoholic? ›

Delta – Rather than “losing control”, alcoholics at this stage will be unable to refrain from drinking. During this stage of alcoholism, the person in the delta phase needs alcohol to get through the day. Their withdrawal symptoms are unbearable and dangerous.

What is the difference between a heavy drinker and an alcoholic? ›

Problem drinking is using alcohol in a way that can negatively impact your health and your life, but the body is not physically dependent on the substance. Alcoholism, on the other hand, most likely includes the physical addiction to alcohol in addition to the problems it may cause your health and your life.

What is the first mental task affected by alcohol? ›

Judgment. The mental faculties are the first to be affected by drinking. Alcohol levels as low as . 02% (well under the legal limit in many states) can lessen the capacity to reason, making it difficult to plan ahead or respond appropriately to one's immediate surroundings.

What are two behavioral effects of alcohol? ›

Social and financial problems

Alcohol can reduce your inhibitions and lead you to behave in a way you normally wouldn't. You may commit a crime, behave in an antisocial way or do something embarrassing. Your behaviour could affect your friendships, your work and your family.

What are 4 negative psychological or physical symptoms of alcohol? ›

Alcohol intoxication causes behavior problems and mental changes. These may include inappropriate behavior, unstable moods, poor judgment, slurred speech, problems with attention or memory, and poor coordination. You can also have periods called "blackouts," where you don't remember events.

What would help me stop drinking? ›

Schedule new activities and hobbies

You may also want to consider spending more time with friends and family who know you're trying to cut down. And remember: You don't need alcohol to have a good time. It can take time to find sober activities you enjoy, but hang in there.

What heals when you stop drinking? ›

Research shows that some of the damage caused to the brain, liver, cardiovascular system, and gut will slowly heal when you stop drinking. 2 After you get past the temporary though sometimes severe discomfort of alcohol withdrawal symptoms, you'll notice increasing improvements in your physical and mental health.

Is there anything that stops alcohol craving? ›

Sometimes medication is necessary to stop or at least reduce alcohol cravings. There are currently three FDA-approved medications for alcohol cravings. They include naltrexone (Revia or Vivitrol), acamprosate (Campral) and disulfiram (Antabuse). Alcohol abuse and alcoholism are treatable.

What are the worst things about alcoholics? ›

In particular, alcohol abuse is known to make mental health problems worse. Alcohol increases anxiety and depression. This occurs because alcohol messes with your brain chemistry. Among those suffering from mental health issues, it becomes an unhealthy outlet to help deal with the stressors of everyday life.

Do alcoholics ever apologize? ›

While some alcoholics apologize for their behavior and promise to turn over a new leaf, if they only talk the talk but don't walk the walk, their repeated apologies and broken promises eventually carry little weight with those around them.

Why do alcoholics like to argue? ›

Alcohol affects the brain causing lower inhibitions, which makes us feel more confident. But lower inhibitions can also make us say or do something that we may come to regret. And this can lead to arguments.

Do alcoholics lack empathy? ›

Reduced sense of empathy can “blunt the perception of suffering of self or others during a drinking session and lead to repeated binges. That is how deficits in empathy may contribute to heavy alcohol drinking and eventually to Alcohol Use disorders.”

What age are most alcoholics? ›

Chronic severe alcoholics average 38 years of age. They begin drinking around age 16 and develop alcohol dependence later, around 29 years of age. This group has the highest rates of drinking, consuming alcohol on an average of almost 248 days a year and binge drinking on 69% of them with a maximum of 15 drinks.

What is the pattern of denial in addiction? ›

Addiction is often characterized by denial. This is when people tend to minimize or deny the severity of their addiction, even when confronted with hard evidence to the contrary. Individuals can be unable to accept help, which can greatly hinder their recovery.

What is the denial rule? ›

The rule says that any allegation of fact must either be denied specifically or by necessary implication or there should be a statement that the fact is not admitted. If the plea is not taken in that manner, then the allegation should be taken to be admitted.

How do you persuade someone to stop drinking? ›

  1. Open the lines of communication.
  2. Make it comfortable to talk about the underlying cause contributing to their drinking.
  3. Be ready with concrete examples of why you think there may be a problem.
  4. Don't offer an ultimatum.
  5. Don't pass judgment or shame.
  6. Utilize the people in your life.
  7. Offer resources to your loved one.
Jun 24, 2022

What are the 4 types of drinker? ›

There are four types of drinker – which one are you?
  • Social drinking. To date, nearly all the research on drinking motives has been done on teens and young adults. ...
  • Drinking to conform. ...
  • Drinking for enhancement. ...
  • Drinking to cope.

How do you deal with someone who is always drunk? ›

Stay calm and approach them in a non-aggressive stance, open, empty hands in a friendly, non authoritative manner. Try not to tell them what to do, but offer them choices and make your movements nice and slow. Be confident yet non-threatening with them and show genuine concern for their well-being.

Is it OK to leave an alcoholic? ›

Giving up on an alcoholic spouse is justified when you've tried everything to help them, and they aren't willing to commit, or when you can't take care of yourself or your family anymore. If you and your children are at risk or exposed to uncontrollable, unpredictable behavior, it's time to leave.

How do you talk to someone about being an alcoholic? ›

Be sure to keep that in mind as you talk about addiction with someone who has an alcohol use disorder.
  1. Approach Them Lovingly. ...
  2. Listen more than you talk. ...
  3. Be Specific About What You've Seen and Are Seeing. ...
  4. Be Supportive and Don't Accuse. ...
  5. Gently Discuss Future Consequences. ...
  6. Have Treatment Options Ready.

Do true feelings come out when drunk? ›

Do true feelings come out when you're drunk? True feelings may come out when you're drunk, but this isn't necessarily true all the time. Instead, alcohol can make people make fake stories and react with emotions they don't feel.

What is the difference between a habitual drinker and an alcoholic? ›

Problem drinking is using alcohol in a way that can negatively impact your health and your life, but the body is not physically dependent on the substance. Alcoholism, on the other hand, most likely includes the physical addiction to alcohol in addition to the problems it may cause your health and your life.

What is a narcissistic alcoholic? ›

Someone with narcissism may use alcohol to cope with their personal problems. They may drink alone to conceal their insecurity from the rest of the world. Both conditions may cause someone to engage in similar behaviors. A person may view others as enablers who will help them get attention and alcohol.

Should you argue with a drunk person? ›

If you find yourself arguing with a drunk person, do your best not to engage with them until they've sobered up. They may attempt to bring you into an argument by criticizing you or making insults. If you have to respond, use language that is polite, but firm, and shuts down the conversation for the time being.

What is the psychology behind drunk calling? ›

Social lubricant: Essentially, “this motive meant that people drunk dialed because they had more confidence, had more courage, could express themselves better, and felt less accountability for their actions."

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