Alcoholism and Denial – Helping an Alcoholic in Denial | EcoSoberHouse (2024)

Alcoholics do not often call themselves alcoholics, and try to deny problems associated with their drinking altogether. Denying drinking negatively affects one’s life is one of the first steps down the descent of alcoholism. Once honesty with oneself and loved ones regarding substance use is lost, it is near-inevitable to be grasped by the clutches of a full-blown addiction.

There are a number of common behaviors that alcoholics exhibit. It is important to take an honest view of oneself or your loved one to determine if behaviors masking alcoholism are present. These justifications or actions can keep an alcoholic denying their problem for years, some successfully hiding their condition for a very long time.

There is no need to wait for a rock bottom moment, look honestly at the situation surrounding yourself regarding alcohol and you should be able to determine what needs to be done.

Denial Develops Over Time

It takes time for an addiction to any substance to occur, and so too does the denial of any problem. Alcoholics will begin to exhibit patterns again and again that they will try to use in order to mask their issues at any cost, protecting the booze, believing life is not worth living without it.

When negative patterns of behavior turn to habits, it is easy for alcoholics to believe that drinking is the only thing that is good in their lives. All the stress of life is quelled, at least for a time, until inevitably they come back worse than before, and the alcoholic returns to drinking in order to manage. It is over time that people begin to claim there is no issue, and eventually, even if problems are monumental there will still be resistance to the truth.

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Justifications for Alcoholism

Alcoholics come up with many different ways to justify or conceal their drinking, such as blaming others for their actions, becoming defensive/dismissive regarding their drinking, or simply just hiding their drinking.

Though there are multiple ways to deny excessive alcohol use, the issues that come from them lead to a similar route, which is, negativity ascending into one’s life. Below are some recognizable behaviors to alcoholics, if these are noticed, perhaps it is time to take the proper steps to discuss the problem and find a solution.

Blaming Outside Influences

Alcoholics will often blame their drinking on factors outside of their control, taking a victim mentality and believing that drinking is the only proper response. When confronted with negative situations these people resort to drinking as a way to escape the stress created.

There will always be stressful situations that people need to overcome. Resorting to drinking is taking the easy way out. It is important to develop discipline and skills to deal with the stress of everyday life. Drinking because of how a situation presents itself to someone is never the answer.

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Defensive Behavior

Often Alcoholics will be defensive about their drinking. When confronted about the amount they are drinking There are common phrases such as “I have not had that much” or “I can do what I want, I am not hurting anyone.”

When an alcoholic gets defensive about their drinking it can become difficult to reason. When evidence presented will not be accepted the best option is to diffuse the situation by not continually creating conflict. Recognize that it may take time to get past this defensive behavior, even when dealing with oneself.

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Denying Alcohol Use

At times it is even possible to completely deny the use of any booze. Alcoholics will blame the smell around them on other substances such as mouth wash. Perhaps their slurring words are just because they are tired, their red eyes too. Denying drinking altogether is a sure sign of addiction.

Hiding Alcohol

When individuals are hiding their drinking from loved ones it is probably because they are doing too much of it. At first it feels normal to be drinking with people, but alcoholics will often drink in secret, hiding evidence from those in their lives.

When this behavior becomes more habitual, it is a sign of a rapid descent. The guilt associated with drinking, and perhaps just a subconscious realization at that, drives people to attempt to completely deny any existence of their drinking.

False Agreement

When alcoholics are in the depths of their deception they will at times make promises to themselves or others to change behaviors. There will be claims that, “I will be stopping soon, after this or that person’s party” or “I will cut back as soon as I am less stressed.” There is always going to be another stressful situation that may send one to drinking.

There will always be another pact made between the alcoholic and themselves or their enablers. Denying this and calling for honesty is the best route to have any sort of progress towards recovery.

Comparing

Alcoholics will often compare themselves to other people in their lives. By comparing their drinking patterns to others that are drinking worse than them, they try to alleviate the guilt associated with their drinking. When compared to these individuals, the alcoholic will often feel they are in the right, and that their drinking is not an issue.

Regardless of justifications or comparisons, the bottom line is when negative situations are occurring because of someone’s drinking, there needs to be action taken. When alcoholics refuse to change because of other people’s life decisions it is difficult to use any argument of reason to help them see the light.

Enabling

Unfortunately, when family, friends or any other loved one continually rescues an alcoholic from their own self destructive activities they are actually enabling, and not helping as would be intended. An alcoholic does not have to reach rock bottom to turn their life around, but unfortunately, this is what it takes at times.

No one wants to watch their loved ones fall into the dismal abyss of addiction, but until the addict figures out for themselves that change is necessary, there will be none.

Recognizing the signs of alcohol addiction early is key to potentially curb the familiar path towards addiction. When life is viewed honestly and lovingly by everyone involved in a given situation, there is bound to be a greater chance for a better quality of life.

Whenever someone enables an alcoholic to continue down a negative path, even with the best intentions, there will inevitably be more harm done than good. Understanding how to not enable is essential to assisting an alcoholic on the right path. Do not make excuses for alcoholics, cover for them, or help them drink There is nothing good that comes from these actions.

Determining Direction To Take

Deciding whether an individual has an issue with alcohol takes the ability to look honestly at the circ*mstances surrounding its use. Negative circ*mstances are bound to occur when an individual is attempting to conceal their alcohol dependence. People have to develop the courage to look at their lives honestly and see what steps need to be taken to improve them.

If seeking help for yourself or a loved one is a necessity, the sooner this is done the better. There is no time like now to be living the best life you can, not dependant on the illusionary help of alcohol. There is only this present moment, this precious moment, to truly live our lives. It is best to live to the fullest extent, completely in our faculties to enjoy every second.

If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, reach out to one of us at ecosoberhouse.com today.

Alcoholism and Denial – Helping an Alcoholic in Denial | EcoSoberHouse (2024)

FAQs

Is denial a symptom of alcoholism? ›

Denial is a common part of alcohol use disorder. It can appear on a spectrum. Some people with alcohol use disorder may acknowledge their problem. Others may be unable to accept the reality of their behavior.

What is an example of denial in alcoholism? ›

Signs of Denial in Alcoholism

Blame: The alcoholic blames his drinking on other people, situations, or bad luck. "She makes me so mad I have to have a drink." "If my job wasn't so frustrating, I wouldn't need a drink." "It's just bad luck that the cop stopped me after I left the bar."

Why are alcoholics so in denial? ›

Denial is a common symptom in people struggling with an alcohol disorder. There are many reasons why a person may deny their substance abuse problem, but it often comes down to: They're not ready to accept they have a problem and need to change. They genuinely don't recognize the symptoms or see the problem.

What to do when someone won t admit they have a drinking problem? ›

How To Help Someone You Know Who Drinks Too Much
  1. Step 1: Talk. Talk about your worries when the person is sober. ...
  2. Step 2: Offer your help. Suggest activities that don't include drinking alcohol. ...
  3. Step 3: Take care of yourself. Caring for someone with alcohol misuse or use disorder can be stressful.
Jun 22, 2023

What personality disorder do alcoholics have? ›

Antisocial Personality Disorder and Alcohol

People who have antisocial personality disorder engage in dangerous behaviors, lack guilt and display low impulse control. These qualities make a person prone to addictive behaviors, with alcoholism being the one most common.

What personality traits lead to alcoholism? ›

More specifically, though traits related to impulsivity/disinhibition appear to demonstrate the most robust and consistent relation with alcohol involvement, all Five-Factor traits (i.e., openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, neuroticism) have been shown to correspond, with varying ...

What are the 5 steps of recovery denial? ›

The five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – are often talked about as if they happen in order, moving from one stage to the other. You might hear people say things like 'Oh I've moved on from denial and now I think I'm entering the angry stage'. But this isn't often the case.

What is one of the most suffering effects of alcoholism? ›

Over time, excessive alcohol use can lead to the development of chronic diseases and other serious problems including: High blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, and digestive problems. Cancer of the breast, mouth, throat, esophagus, voice box, liver, colon, and rectum.

Do alcoholics ever apologize? ›

While some alcoholics apologize for their behavior and promise to turn over a new leaf, if they only talk the talk but don't walk the walk, their repeated apologies and broken promises eventually carry little weight with those around them.

What do alcoholics fear the most? ›

Typical fears of alcoholics include:
  • Fear of rejection: A common concern of alcoholics in early recovery is that the people they love will abandon them or that they'll be judged.
  • Fear of loss: Giving up your addiction can sometimes feel like losing a close friend or family member.
Dec 23, 2019

Do alcoholics lack empathy? ›

Reduced sense of empathy can “blunt the perception of suffering of self or others during a drinking session and lead to repeated binges. That is how deficits in empathy may contribute to heavy alcohol drinking and eventually to Alcohol Use disorders.”

Why do alcoholics like to argue? ›

Alcohol affects the brain causing lower inhibitions, which makes us feel more confident. But lower inhibitions can also make us say or do something that we may come to regret. And this can lead to arguments.

What are the 4 types of drinker? ›

There are four types of drinker – which one are you?
  • Social drinking. To date, nearly all the research on drinking motives has been done on teens and young adults. ...
  • Drinking to conform. ...
  • Drinking for enhancement. ...
  • Drinking to cope.

How do you motivate someone to stop drinking? ›

Good communication and encouraging someone to talk about why they drink can help someone quit alcohol. Citing specific examples of the effects of someone's drinking are more effective than giving an ultimatum.

How do you respond to an alcoholic? ›

Remember to use “I” statements that express your feelings and your concerns and the ways that you are impacted by your loved one's alcohol use. You could say, “I am concerned about your alcohol use. I've noticed that I'm increasingly worried when you come home late at night and I don't know where you've been.”

Do alcoholics have two personalities? ›

Generally, alcoholics seem to have the same kinds of personalities as everybody else, except more so. The first is a low frustration tolerance. Alcoholics seem to experience more distress when enduring long-term dysphoria or when tiresome things do not work out quickly. Alcoholics are more impulsive than most.

Do alcoholics have narcissistic tendencies? ›

It's possible to have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as well as an alcohol use disorder (AUD). In some cases, someone who's misusing alcohol may display similar tendencies to narcissistic people — or at least, it might come across that way to those around them.

Is alcoholism a form of mental illness? ›

Yes. Since 1956, the American Medical Association (AMA) has identified alcoholism as a disease characterized by compulsive decision-making, impulsive behavior and relapse.

Which behavior is most likely to indicate alcohol abuse? ›

Recognizing the Most Common Characteristics of an Alcoholic
  • Prioritizing Alcohol.
  • Placing Blame on Others.
  • Making Frequent Excuses.
  • Drinking Uncontrollably.
  • Struggling Financially.
  • Shifting Priorities.
  • Behaving Recklessly.
Dec 21, 2021

Which personality type of people are most likely to develop alcoholics? ›

As far as addiction goes, Type B personalities are more impulsive and tend to have a stronger family history of alcohol abuse. On the other hand, Type A personalities are prone to stress and may use alcohol and drugs as a way to cope.

What personality trait do most addicts have in common? ›

No single personality type sets someone up for addiction, but there are a few personality traits common among people who have a substance use disorder: an inability to handle stress, impulsivity, unaccountability and a lack of empathy.

What are the 3 P's of recovery? ›

3 “P's” for Recovery: Passion, Power and Purpose.

What are the 3 rules of addiction? ›

Black addresses three major rules that exist within families when someone has a chemical dependency; don't talk, don't trust, and don't feel.

What are the 4 A's in recovery? ›

Try using one of the four A's: avoid, alter, accept or adapt.

What organ failure occurs in alcoholics? ›

Each time your liver filters alcohol, some of the liver cells die. The liver can develop new cells, but prolonged alcohol misuse (drinking too much) over many years can reduce its ability to regenerate. This can result in serious and permanent damage to your liver.

What organ failure is due to alcoholism? ›

10% to 20% of those who drink heavily will develop liver cirrhosis. Cirrhosis is a condition in which the liver is so scarred that it can no longer function due to scar tissue replacing the healthy liver cells. Cirrhosis is irreversible and can cause fatal liver failure and liver cancer if left untreated.

What organ is affected by alcohol the most? ›

Liver: Heavy drinking takes a toll on the liver, and can lead to a variety of problems and liver inflammations including: Steatosis, or fatty liver.

What is a narcissistic alcoholic? ›

Someone with narcissism may use alcohol to cope with their personal problems. They may drink alone to conceal their insecurity from the rest of the world. Both conditions may cause someone to engage in similar behaviors. A person may view others as enablers who will help them get attention and alcohol.

Do alcoholics cry a lot? ›

Alcohol addiction can cause serious disruption in personal relationships and families. During a period of intoxication, a person's emotions are sometimes raw and unreliable, resulting in anger, bouts of hysteria, crying fits or even physical or verbal abuse.

What is the difference between a narcissist and an alcoholic? ›

Narcissism is a personality disorder that may cause individuals to display grandiose and self-involved behaviors. Alcoholism is an addiction where people cannot control their alcohol use. Narcissism and alcoholism may both share similar characteristics and can occur at the same time.

Do alcoholics need a lot of attention? ›

Need for Attention

Those who are addicted to alcohol or drugs may resort to attention seeking behavior as a type of coping mechanism. They can also use this type of behavior as a means to manipulate other people. It is important that once people become sober they find more appropriate coping mechanisms.

What do alcoholics face a higher risk of? ›

Liver Disease: The risk of cirrhosis and other alcohol-related liver diseases is higher for women than for men. Impact on the Brain: Alcohol-related cognitive decline and shrinkage of the brain develop more quickly for women than for men.

What age are most alcoholics? ›

Chronic severe alcoholics average 38 years of age. They begin drinking around age 16 and develop alcohol dependence later, around 29 years of age. This group has the highest rates of drinking, consuming alcohol on an average of almost 248 days a year and binge drinking on 69% of them with a maximum of 15 drinks.

Do alcoholics have trouble with intimacy? ›

Many alcoholics will suffer from low self-esteem, especially in the early days. They may feel unworthy and not good enough, which can affect their ability to be intimate with their partner. This low self-esteem can cause erectile dysfunction in men and decrease sexual desire in both sexes.

Do alcoholics have no feelings? ›

“It has been associated with … deficits in emotion recognition and verbalization, leading to difficulties in distinguishing and comprehending people's emotional states.” Some studies, in fact, have shown that alcoholics tend to misidentify the emotions of people they are interacting with, Amenta notes.

Do alcoholics have attachment issues? ›

Data shows that an adult child of an alcoholic is more likely to experience insecure attachment. This can cause significant problems in romantic and platonic relationships, as they may struggle with believing that they are loved or that their relationship is secure.

Do alcoholics have regret? ›

However, the degree of regret which is felt by an individual in active alcoholism goes far deeper. In fact, it is such an overwhelming feeling, it is typically accompanied by empty promises, apologies, and pleas for forgiveness from those who have been harmed by the behaviors that accompany alcoholism.

Do true feelings come out when drunk? ›

Do true feelings come out when you're drunk? True feelings may come out when you're drunk, but this isn't necessarily true all the time. Instead, alcohol can make people make fake stories and react with emotions they don't feel.

What are the four types observed in wives of alcoholics? ›

Whalen (1983) described four types of 'wives of alcoholics' viz. suffering Susan, controlling Catherine, wavering Winifred and punitive Polly, where the disturbed personality of the wife was a significant contributor to alcoholism in her husband.

What are the 5 A's of alcoholism? ›

Clinical guidelines recommend addressing adolescent alcohol use in primary care; the 5 As (Ask, Advise, Assess, Assist, Arrange) may be a useful model for intervention.

What is the difference between a habitual drinker and an alcoholic? ›

Problem drinking is using alcohol in a way that can negatively impact your health and your life, but the body is not physically dependent on the substance. Alcoholism, on the other hand, most likely includes the physical addiction to alcohol in addition to the problems it may cause your health and your life.

What is the most common drink for alcoholics? ›

Among the most common types of alcohol abused include:
  • Gin.
  • Tequila.
  • Vodka.
  • Whiskey.
  • Rum.
  • Brandy.
Jul 10, 2020

What to say to someone who won't stop drinking? ›

Encourage the person to share how they are feeling, and react positively when they share. Acknowledge that what they are going through is difficult. Try to notice when things are going well for them and point this out. Ask the person what kinds of things they would like to do.

What to say to cut someone off from drinking? ›

How do I cut someone off?
  • Avoid confrontation. ...
  • Treat the guest with respect. ...
  • Do not argue, but don't back down either. ...
  • Calmly state the reason why you can no longer serve them alcoholic drinks. ...
  • Do not be rude or act superior. ...
  • Listen and acknowledge the guest's frustration. ...
  • Monitor the guest who has been refused service.
Feb 17, 2023

What do you do when a family member won't stop drinking? ›

How to cope with a family member's problem drinking
  1. Look after your own needs. Family members living with dependent drinkers often neglect themselves. ...
  2. Recognise that harmful drinking affects you too. You may experience violence or financial problems. ...
  3. Keep yourself and others safe from harm.

How do you deal with mean drunks? ›

How to Deal With an Angry Drunk Person?
  1. Let Them Know What They're Doing. The first thing you should do is let the person know what they're doing and how it's affecting other people. ...
  2. Talk to Them When They're Sober. ...
  3. Keep Yourself Safe. ...
  4. Don't Leave Them Alone. ...
  5. Try to Get Them Help.
Apr 15, 2022

Can you treat an alcoholic? ›

The good news is that no matter how severe the problem may seem, most people with AUD can benefit from some form of treatment. Research shows that about one-third of people who are treated for alcohol problems have no further symptoms 1 year later.

What are 3 symptoms of an alcoholic? ›

Signs and symptoms may include:
  • Being unable to limit the amount of alcohol you drink.
  • Wanting to cut down on how much you drink or making unsuccessful attempts to do so.
  • Spending a lot of time drinking, getting alcohol or recovering from alcohol use.
  • Feeling a strong craving or urge to drink alcohol.
May 18, 2022

Is denial a characteristic of addiction? ›

Denial is a hallmark characteristic of addiction. Every person with a substance problem has had some form of denial for some period of time. It is the primary reason substance problems progress and go untreated, taking more and more of a toll upon us and our loved ones as they go.

Is denial a hallmark of addiction? ›

It is said that denial is the hallmark of addiction. Denial can be a powerful coping mechanism to delay or distract from the truth.

What are the cognitive signs of alcoholism? ›

Since alcohol affects a large portion of the brain, many different kinds of cognitive impairment can occur as a result of heavy drinking, including problems with verbal fluency and verbal learning, processing speed, working memory, attention, problem solving, spatial processing, and impulsivity.

What are the 4 types of alcoholic? ›

There are four types of drinker – which one are you?
  • Social drinking. To date, nearly all the research on drinking motives has been done on teens and young adults. ...
  • Drinking to conform. ...
  • Drinking for enhancement. ...
  • Drinking to cope.

What is the one third rule for alcoholism? ›

Unfortunately, for many it is too late; one-third die early because they did not stop drinking in time, one-third die later from continued alcohol intake and one-third survive – we have termed this 'the law of thirds'.

What are the 4 levels of denial? ›

Stages of Denial
  • Type A denial is when a person sees, understands, and knows that they have a definite problem. ...
  • Type B denial is when a person is either partially or totally blind to a problem that they have. ...
  • Intellectual denial is usually based on lack of understanding, differences in semantics or in definition.

What are the 4 D's of addiction? ›

Use the 4Ds to tide over cravings: distract, delay, deep breathing, and drinking water.

Is being in denial a coping mechanism? ›

Research shows denial as a coping mechanism is associated with poor physical and mental health. If someone's in denial, they might refuse to get treatment for a serious illness or resist talking to a professional about mental health symptoms that are impacting their life.

What are the 3 A's of addiction? ›

So, remember, the next time you hear the word “addiction” being used in the media keep in mind that true addictions should meet the three criteria: compulsion, control, and consequences.

What is the psychology of being in denial? ›

Denial is a defense mechanism in which an individual refuses to recognize or acknowledge objective facts or experiences. It's an unconscious process that serves to protect the person from discomfort or anxiety.

What is an example of denial in addiction? ›

You compare your alcohol or drug use to others. “I don't do as much as other people.” You blame others for your problems. (“If my parents hadn't ____, I wouldn't be____.” Or “If my job wasn't so stressful, I wouldn't need to drink so much.”)

What happens to the mind of an alcoholic? ›

Alcohol interferes with the brain's communication pathways and can affect the way the brain looks and works. Alcohol makes it harder for the brain areas controlling balance, memory, speech, and judgment to do their jobs, resulting in a higher likelihood of injuries and other negative outcomes.

What are the three parts of the disease of alcoholism? ›

There are three main factors within the disease: the spiritual malady, a physical allergy, and a mental obsession. These three factors are the reason why it is impossible for someone suffering from the disease of alcoholism to simply stop using as a result of their own willpower.

What brain disorder is alcohol personality changes? ›

Alcohol can cause damage to the brain, which could lead to personality changes or act as a trigger for other mental health issues like anxiety or depression. Alcohol also slows down messages from your brain to other body parts, leading to slower reflexes and impaired judgment and motor skills.

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